Goodbye Dear Frienemy
I remember my first puff of a cigarette. I was eleven and had skipped a class with some friends to go sit by the ocean wall a few yards from the school. It was 1987 and even in a lenient country such as Brazil, I wore a uniform, sang the National Anthem every morning, and attended Sunday school. Of course like today, skipping class and doing something ‘bad’ was utterly exhilarating. Carla pulls out a soft pack of Hollywoods, hands me one and it didn’t take all of 3 seconds for me to start coughing my brains out. I vowed never to repeat it again; in hindsight it literally tasted like licking a dirty ashtray.
It wasn’t until I was 17 that I became a smoker. I don’t even remember how it began exactly, just that all my friends smoked. They, the rich kids from Greenwich, had enough Daddy’s money to drive cool cars like Porsches and Mercedes Benz, rebelling against society by being punk/goth/emo, drinkers, drug takers. It’s been 14 years of this nasty little habit and I can finally say I’m ready to give it up.
One fine night while watching TV I saw a South Florida Quitline commercial and appreciated getting the truth, cutthroat and in your face. The warnings resonated with me, brewing inside until I logged into the quit line and signed up. A few days later I got a phone call from a woman named Lisa who would become my quit coach. We went through a 15 minute phone interview about my smoking habits, set my quit date to January 18th, and four days later my free-and-clear program arrived at my doorstep, along with the first round of the nicotine patch.
Today as with every other morning, I woke up, walked and fed my dogs, poured a cup of delicious coffee, gathered my Camel Light cigarettes, lighter and stepped outside for my daily routine. I began reading the “4 Essential Practices to Quit For Life” program booklet. Sure I had heard most of the facts before, never however so well put together in one place, scientifically and realistically poignant. It was the first time I read anything that truly treated smoking cigarettes as an addiction. It hits on tracking the routine, triggers, cravings, coping with stress and withdrawal, choosing allies, medicines, and finally becoming a non-smoker. I’ve previously tried the patch, the gum, cold-turkey, books, and even hypnotherapy, but I always gave in. I know today that it is not the methods that previously didn’t work for me as they clearly work for others, it’s that I wasn’t ready. This time I am, although I must admit I’m scared to hell of failing, of giving up, the difference is I have a plan, guidance, and I’m thankful for that.
Two mornings from today that first patch will be on me. Tomorrow I’ve gotta get prepared to replace the oral fixation by buying some hard candy, gum, healthy snacks, and toothpicks.
Here goes attempt #5 in my battle against nicotine addiction. Time to say goodbye to my dear frienemy the white stick, to be painfully dumped but replaced with a healthy and happy lifestyle; the life I moved here to live.
